Micro 24, Star Human

This is the 24th post in the series Microposts. Start reading at the beginning, Micro 1.


Star Fox is a game about a fox. Named Fox McCloud. And he’s the leader of the space fighting group Star Fox.

This is so deeply absurd and I have no idea why everyone accepts this as if it’s entirely reasonable.


It’s like if my dad, James McCloud, decided to name me Human.

Human McCloud.

Also our family name is Irish or something but that never comes up.


Anyway my name is Human McCloud and when I was 16, my father created a mercenary fighting group and decided to name it after me, his son
, Human.

He called it the Star Human Team.


And it was so successful he took out an 80 year loan to start construction of a new headquarters, the Great Human.


And then he disappeared and, when the Great Human was completed, I, Human McCloud, became the leader of Star Human.

Star. Human.


So we’re a mercenary group but we’re working with General Pepper who I have decided just now is named General Spicy because that’s way better.


None of this makes any sense at all! I’m really angry about this! But there’s only one, inevitable takeaway:

No Items, Human Only,
Final Destination.


Good King Wenceslas looked out
on a regular normal day
there wasn’t really anything notable going on


The audacity of buying pants online


So what color is a Floyd normally then?


My goal is to know enought about things to be really annoying in casual conversation.


It’s a tremendous shame that bash’s quiet mode isn’t called shh


You know those New Years glasses that haven’t made sense since 2009? This year you can just wear prescription glasses.