Micro 24, Star Human

This is the 24th post in the series Microposts. Start reading at the beginning, Micro 1.

1

Star Fox is a game about a fox. Named Fox McCloud. And he’s the leader of the space fighting group Star Fox.

This is so deeply absurd and I have no idea why everyone accepts this as if it’s entirely reasonable.

2

It’s like if my dad, James McCloud, decided to name me Human.

Human McCloud.

Also our family name is Irish or something but that never comes up.

3

Anyway my name is Human McCloud and when I was 16, my father created a mercenary fighting group and decided to name it after me, his son
, Human.

He called it the Star Human Team.

4

And it was so successful he took out an 80 year loan to start construction of a new headquarters, the Great Human.

5

And then he disappeared and, when the Great Human was completed, I, Human McCloud, became the leader of Star Human.

Star. Human.

6

So we’re a mercenary group but we’re working with General Pepper who I have decided just now is named General Spicy because that’s way better.

7

None of this makes any sense at all! I’m really angry about this! But there’s only one, inevitable takeaway:

No Items, Human Only,
Final Destination.

8

Good King Wenceslas looked out
on a regular normal day
there wasn’t really anything notable going on

9

The audacity of buying pants online

10

So what color is a Floyd normally then?

11

My goal is to know enought about things to be really annoying in casual conversation.

12

It’s a tremendous shame that bash’s quiet mode isn’t called shh

13

You know those New Years glasses that haven’t made sense since 2009? This year you can just wear prescription glasses.